Things That Annoy Me For $400 Please, Alex

Birds

When birds are in trees or picking at McDonalds bags on the side of the road, they are bearable.  It is when they are in their natural environment that annoys me, in the air.  I don't know about you, but whenever birds are flying over me all I can think about is one of them dropping a marshmallow colored turd on my head.  I am constantly clinching my shoulders upward, as if that actually does anything, all while keeping an eye on those winged creatures.  It really puts me in a frustrating position because it makes fun situations like a wiffle-ball game or a BBQ a lot more stressful. 

Birthdays

Let me be a little more specific, Pre-Birthdays.  By all means, invite me to your party or shin-dig and throw me a reminder about a week in advance.  But please don't give me a day to day countdown of your stupid birthday.  "Hey Chris, did you know its my birthday on wednesday?...".  "Yes I do know that.  I know that mainly because you reminded me yesterday, the day before, put a countdown on your away message and posted a comment on the Facebook wall of your entire friend list".  I don't want to go through this with everyones birthday.  I have my palm pilot with everyones birthday I need to know.  If your not in there then you better try harder and not by telling me 20 times about your birthday.

Pickle Juice

I would say that this is probably one of the weirdest picks on my list.  Lets set the record straight.  I like pickles.  I can eat them out of the jar or on a sandwich and burger.  But for some odd reason, if I take the last bite of the sandwich and its mainly bread and pickle juice, I might as well have never eaten because now the sandwich is ruined.  There is really no redeeming qualities about pickle juice.  Plain and simple, it just sucks.

Short List

1. Erasable Pens - Just write in pencils
   
2. Left Golf Clubs, Scissors, Guitars, etc - Become a righty, everyone else is
3. New Jersey - NY's ugly step sister
4. Transvestites - Just pick one and run with it
5. Paula Abdul - I would say dumb as bricks but that would be an insult to bricks world wide
6. Political Correctness - America needs to take the stick out of her ass
7. Smelly People - When you fart and smell, its all good but not when your unaware of your smelly scent
8. Punching Bag - Any one want a punching bag?
9. Cops - Not the ones that protect and serve but the ones that try to catch me riding dirty
10. Nicolas Cage - See IMDB - Friend or Foe? post in March 2009